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Monday, October 24, 2011

letter you will never see

Even tho i have moved on and met someone else.Your always on my mind theres not a day that goes by that your not in my head.I'll admit it i miss you like crazy everytime i go to the store you work at,i tell everyone i dont wanna see you but i always look through the corner of my eye to hopefully see you walk my way..it never happens tho. The last time i saw you i was so happy i wanted to hug you very badly but with all my heart i holded myself back. I saw your mom the other day she seemed happy to see me, shes sad you drink now i wonder if you drink cause of me? I heard at a party you were saying you missed me is it true? i bet its not. Its sad to see all of our dreams fade away i remember the spa we wanted to have and do you remember how we used to talk about how we were going to be with "our" kids how you would be the mean one haha and what about how we would say we were going to live in a farm and have a big wooden house. I still always think about the times we used to get mad at each other that was so dumb if i could i would take it all back mainly because they would be dumb reasons now that i think about it. Its wierd thinking that you would cry for me and beg me not to leave you and when i really wanted you to beg me not to leave you..You acted like you didnt care that was the hardest thing till this day.Even tho you asked for me back it wasnt the way i hoped you cant tell someone you want them back but tell them they have to wait for a certain time..when you love someone you dont wait You TAKE them with all you have especially if you already lost them. I hope one day you realise how much you meant to me and then you see that i meant alot to you too.Even if i try i would never forget you.You knew everything about me and i could trust you with everything i miss that alot theres no one else i can do that with i hope this guy loves me as much as you did but doesnt let me go like you did.

Friday, September 2, 2011

never thought id be called "ex"

I walked out the door with the feeling in my stomach i knew it was going to be over but i don't think i was ready for it just yet. To me everything was going good but then he stopped wanting to see me that's when i knew everything had changed. We broke up. I don't know what was worse the fact that we broke up or the fact that we didn't even try to fix anything. There's times when i just want to pick up my phone and tell him i miss him but i don't am not the type of girl to do that. I cant believe its over though its like unbelievable i never thought it would happen we would always break up and get back together but this time i know its really over four years of my life gone. Am getting thru it though he will never really know how much he hurt me that day. To him that day i didn't care one bit and honestly that's how i want it to stay he doesn't deserve to have broken my heart and still see i suffered.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Have you ever felt your with the right person you were meant to meet. The person your destined to marry because their so perfect for you?...That's what everyone wants, to find that one perfect person. Some people find the right one when their older like in their 30's then their happy and marry end of story. But what if that person comes too early...a little too soon. That's me.. i have that perfect person for me his the nicest boy everything every girl wishes for..the person that's written in quotes,in songs and in those romantic novels..but his only my second boyfriend and well am 17. Sometimes i believe i got it a bit too good the great guy came along but what about experiencing the teen stuff! The tons of boyfriends your suppost to have before you find the right one...the great thrills you did with that one guy...the one that got away...that one bad boy u dated...the one you regret...that one that was so hot you just couldnt believe it...i didnt have that! i know that sounds selfish i really do...i should be grateful i didnt go thru heart break well not really i did but thats not the point.....i just think it came too soon sometimes i wish i could also date other people like me and him breaking up but i know that would be the dummest thing to do...leaving that one perfect guy...cause what if you leave the perfect guy and never find another one again. Now that i would regret...but even though his my second boyfriend i did date this new guy in school all the girls were falling for but turns out he was a typical jerk...then there was this guy also known as the pilot we had a crush on each other he was that one guy you think is too cute for you but eh didnt work out and now am here with my perfect guy ...who knows what will happen with me and him but even if i didnt get to expirence those thrills am still happy i have him i guess i wasnt meant to date some dudes along my way ...i was a one/few very few! guy kinda girl.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

toy story night :>

Toy story is on as am writing this. Never really done this before but it seems interesting. Waiting on my boyfriend to go to the mall but his late...better late then never i guess. I was wondering what to write about but it will be about the thing some people are stressing about Valentines DAy! isnt it exciting how near it is! But not really for the people like me that havent decided what to get yet its kinda a bit like ah! what do i get for him. I dont want to get something typical thats like boring because mainly thats not me i wanna get something that will make him feel special when i give it to him. Mainly because thats like the whole point ...lol..Am actually suppost to be doing my defensive driving thing but its really boring i wish it was like the old times when ppl just studied and either passed thier driving test or not i bet when i get my car am still going to be doing the course :( bummer. this is it am out. bye :)